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Balancing the Accounts

A short Skit.

(Sitting at a table a husband and wife look at a stack of bills in the center of the table.)

“Honey, we are spending $10,000 a month, but your pay checks only total $5,500 a month. Normally not a problem I know, but our credit card limit is going to be maxed out by the middle of next month.”

Husband: “Well, in the past we have just worked with Roger at the bank and he has always raised our borrowing limit. Why don’t you just stop by tomorrow and work it out with him.” (smiling)

Wife: (looking a little worried) “Well I already stopped by today. Roger was transferred to another bank. There is some new guy named Mr. TeePartae. He said he is not willing to help us out unless we cut back on our spending.”

Husband: “Arrg. Who put him have charge! People like that just don’t get it. Without that credit limit increase, our gardener, pool boy, housekeeper, heck, even our regular waiter at the steakhouse. They are going to get hurt if he doesn’t act reasonably. In fact, some of those people could even lose their job!”

Wife: “I know honey, I’ve thought about that. I mean, even the cruise ship workers are going to suffer if we have to cut back on our travel.

Hey! I have an idea. We could do this with a balanced approach. You know, increase our income along with some reduced spending.

You just need to talk with your boss about increasing your revenue. It’s not fair that we take all this out on the little people! He should understand that. Well if he has a heart that is! Unlike Mr. TeePartae”

Husband: “Good thinking. I’m going to do that!”


Wife: “Well, I’m sure your boss understood about supporting us so we can support little guys. So, (look of expectation) how many thousand dollars a month did he decide to increase your salary?”

Husband: “Uh, well. I didn’t talk to the boss.”

Wife: “What! why not. We can’t pay for all the necessities if we don’t increase our revenue!”

Husband: “Well, I decide to talk to our CEO. His assistant Sarah helped me out with an appointment. It’s really hard to get an appointment with him. He is always flying off in the corporate jet to some conference. You know, to play golf with the other CEO’s. (Frowning)

But anyway, I guess that $5 Starbucks Card I give Sarah each Christmas paid off because she got me right in.”

Wife: “You are so smart! So, (look of expectation) how much did he raise your income?”

Husband: “Uh, well, nothing. He said he thinks I have a spending problem and need to focus on that. I can’t stand greedy rich people! I don’t see him cutting back on his expenses. That corporate jet is just a waste. Don’t know why he can’t fly first-class like we do. (look of disgust)

Wife: “Well, OK. I guess we should look at how we can cut our expenses. I went around Mr TeePartae and talked to the manager at the branch in the Senate Building branch. He said we need to come back with a new budget plan and then he could help us. We need our credit card card limit raised $75,000 to get us through the next 18 months. I sure don’t want to have to go to the bank for at least that long. Anyway, he said we need to cut $1 for every $1 that he raises our limit. So, if we can show him how we plan to cut the first $25,000 from our spending he will give us 6 months to develop a plan for cutting the other $50,000.”

Husband: “Good work, those people that work in the Senate Building are so much more reasonable!”

Wife: “I know. Any way he said it will help if we can show some cuts right away, but that it was ok if we show the cuts over a 10 year period. I though that was a perfectly reasonable approach.”

Husband: “Yes, I do think so. So, where do we start?”

Wife: “Well, times are hard. You know, we had planned to go on a couple of cruises over the next year. I suppose we could change from a suite to a balcony cabin on that second cruise. That would save us $800.”

Husband: “Excellent! Quite a sacrifice for sure but at least we will still be able to smell that fresh ocean breeze while we enjoy our morning coffee. (Smiles) You know we also had planned to give our housekeeper and gardener a 1% raise next year. If we cut their wages 2%, (Pauses) I mean, hey, everyone is having to cut back, we can save another $300 over the next ten years. So that takes care of the first $1,000. Now where do we get cut the other $24,000?”

Wife: “Well in 6 years our little boy is going to be going to college. The plan was for him to go to Harvard. I don’t think we should change that. However, if we change our budget and show him graduating in 3 1/2 years instead of four, that will save us, lets see (uses calculator) $10,000 in tuition. (Big smile)

Husband: “That is over $11,000 total. Only $14,000 more to go! You know, when he goes off to college we talked about doing more traveling; buying that sports car we always talked about. We do take a couple of cruises a year now but we have planned forever to go four times a year. You know, see the world once Johnny leaves for college. That is, let’s see (uses calculator) 16 wonderful trips in years 7 through 10. I can hardly wait!”

Wife: “Well it will be a sacrifice, but lets change our that to 13 trips. that will cut (uses calculator) $9,000 in expenses. No wait! I forgot to include inflation. (uses calculator) Yes! lets make it 14 trips. There, that takes care of another $8,000 in expenses. (Beams) Any ideas for how we can cut that last $6,000?”

Husband: “Well you did mention that sports car. Ugh, I really hate to go there. But living within your means is tough, so I’m game (looks pleased with himself) Let’s see, we had planned to do that when I retire in, what, 9 years? hmmm…Ah, I have it! Instead of an nice shiny new car, I’ll get one that is a year old. You know I heard you lose a lot in the first year anyway. So that will save us the last $6,000. BINGO! we did it!”

Wife: “You are so smart, I would never have thought of that! Your Political Science degree just keeps paying off!”

Husband: (beams) “Well you know how it is, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!”

Wife: “I guess that takes care of these (picks up stack of bills and beams.) For a few days there I was afraid we were going to have to be a five-figure-family. I shudder at the thought. (shudders) Well, we had planned to shop for a new car Saturday. I guess we should plan something else for our weekend.”

Husband: “Whoa! Wait just a minute now. We took care of our cost cutting already. It wouldn’t be prudent postpone that purchase. The car we want may cost a bit more but It’s necessary for the environment. Just like that 300 mile high speed rail project they plan to build next year”

Wife: “ Well it does make financial sense. And, how can you put a cost on protecting our environment. Besides, I know you did your homework and it really is so smart to trade in the old car before the factory warranty expires.”

Husband: “Exactly. Well that is settled. Now, go ahead and pay the gardener tomorrow. (smiles wistfully) It is a good thing we are looking out for the little guy. If they only knew how difficult this is.”

Wife: “Yes, but as you always say, ‘It’s the right thing to do’.”

(Both beam and hug each other)


I wrote this short skit last year to illustrate the folly of our congress and President. It would be funny if it wasn’t true.

The President released his budget this week. While he claims to have worked hard to make tough choices in cutting out $2 trillion he trusts you will fall for the typical stunt that Washington uses to increase spending while claiming to cut it.
John Stossel sums it up this way in his weekly column,

What the president was talking about is not even a cut. The politicians just agreed that over the next 10 years, instead of increasing spending by $9.48 trillion, they’d increase it by “just” $7.3 trillion. Calling that a “cut” is nonsense.

Cato Institute economist Dan Mitchell gave an analogy: “What if I came to you and said, ‘I’ve been on a diet for the last month, and I’ve gained 10 pounds. Isn’t that great?’ You would say: ‘Wait, what are you talking about? That’s insane.’ And I said: ‘I was going to gain 15 pounds. I’ve only gained 10 pounds, therefore my diet is successful.'”

…And the press buys it. The Washington Post has been writing about “draconian cuts.”

“The politicians know this game,” Mitchell said. “The special interests know this game. Everyone gets a bigger budget every year… And we wind up sooner or later being Greece.”

We are definitely on the road to bankruptcy.

If Government would limit its growth to 2% this whole disaster would be averted. Remember that then next time you hear them tell you how hard they are working to cut government.

If you add 8 zeros to each line below you would have the current federal budget.
Family Budget.png

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